The thumb.

I was young, a new nurse, scheduled in the ER. I was nervous. I pictured someone running into the ER with a cut off finger or some other body part. What would I do? I felt so unqualified. At around this same time I was going to AlAnon. I was learning a lot about myself..... Just because someone says something about me doesn't make it true, I don't have to be responsible for someone else's behavior and just because someone tries to give me something doesn't mean I have to reach out and take it.

It was a long time before someone actually came into the ER, held out his closed hand to me, and said, "My friend is in the car. He cut off his finger and I have it here." My first reaction a long time ago would have been to reach out with an open palm even before the man had finished talking. I went to a room and got a speciman cup and opened it so the man could drop the finger in it.

I look back at that time and think that it was nothing compared to what I deal with now in that same ER. But the lesson still works. You don't have to take the thumb just because someone tries to hand it to you.